U-G-L-Y…These clothes ain’t got no alibi
I ran to the mall with my ten-year-old daughter yesterday because she has a forensics competition on Wednesday and was instructed to wear “Sunday Best.” We’ve been a little busy lately, so her Sunday best was the wrong season (summer) and she’d grown out of her sweaters and everything else from the previous year. The experience reminded me of a high school cheer we used to shout from the bleachers at the opposing team: U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi, you’re ugly!
I have never seen so many appalingly ugly clothes for girls age 6 to 14. They look like the clothes I wore in the 70s — on steroids. It’s that cheap, trendy (dare I say trashy) look you find in Limited Too and similar stores. The department store selection was exactly the same everywhere you went: the Hannah Montana line and a “High School Musical” collection — clothing for budding rock stars and starlets. Poor-quality, overpriced shirts and pants made of horrible lycra stretch material adorned with sequins, flowers, polka dots, you name it. What’s with the tight, layered tees and the babydoll shirts and sweaters that flatter no one? And belly shirts…in the winter? You couldn’t find a simple dress to save your life, except a formal holiday dress in red velvet, gold lame and other assorted tacky styles. Yikes.
We tried The Gap, Old Navy, Children’s Place, Lord & Taylor, the Lands End boutique at Sears and Macy’s. You used to be able to depend on The Gap to at least offer a decent-looking pair of corduroys and a classic sweater. No more.
I was looking for fashion that was classic, classy, polished, elegant, beautiful — so she would feel confident and put together when she gave her speech in the competition. Finally, buried in between the junk, we found two pairs of simple, nicely cut black pants (one in a pin stripe) and two sweaters — a lavender turtleneck with a single white stripe at the neckline and around the wrists; and a classic, white, crocheted sweater with a simple, white satin ribbon tie at the waistline.
Any parents out there find yourselves doing the ugly cheer when you go shopping with your kids? Got a decent, somewhat affordable source of great clothes to share?
BTW: Here’s the money angle: Short the department store stocks.
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